the bald frog and the wig for my profile

oncest upon a time there was a wig with an attitude, a bad attitude, and it wanted more than anything in the world to be called Frank but all anyone would call it was ugly so one day a frog with no hair and a toad for an uncle hopped by and saw the wig crying by the side of the stream whereupon the frog said to the wig "are you crying because you are ugly or because you are not Frank?" to which the wig replied "shut up before i come over there and teach you a lesson" so the frog grabbed the wig who would be Frank by the label and whipped him up into the air which, of course, caused the hair on the wig to rearrange itself and when it landed, on the frog's head, i might add, it shaped itself with a 'WHUUMFPH' into a shiny black pompador which, when they looked together into their reflection in the stream, made the frog and the wig laugh and laugh and laugh